Friend or Foe, Who is your Biggest?
Growing up in the common Nigerian local certain, scary stories and movies of people who sold their souls out to some diabolical source for power to wreck havoc on people they consider as enemies or to retard the growth of those making more progress than they were was very common. There were also those who got jealous of a person at their workplace or in family and friends gathering or events that decided to send forth assassins to eliminate such interest of their ill feelings. There were bad friends who lead a good child to wayward lifestyles, ritualistic killing of children kidnapped from neighborhoods, neighbours poisoning neighbours, family doing same to family as well.
On another hand, there were good people, good friends, good Samaritans, people who would circumnavigate the earth a second time if it be for you, those who will literally jump into shark invested water to rescue you from same sharks, people who positively always came through for us in dire circumstances.
In general everything seemed so external, another person’s doing or responsibility especially if things went bad. It almost seemed like everything external had an upper hand and the biggest influence over you as a person and you had little or no role to play either changing it or deciding it.
Then one day my father( God bless his soul) said to me “you are responsible for everything that happens to you” and at the time it was the biggest irony I’ve had to deal with. But people made me angry, the made me sad, caused me to cry, made me happy and so on, either people or events. People killed other people, robbed them,sacked them, hired them, helped them, saved them, I didn’t get it. Very soon though on my own I began to realize and understand that every single big result or event in my life was a ripple effect that started with me, choice I made, what I chose to belief, my idea, behavior and so on. This got me to the acceptance that some how deliberately or not everything that I was going through or had gone through, good or bad was being set in motion by me. I always took the first step in the particular path or path that led to the path, either in direct way or indirect ways. The final big finish were I had regrets or Joy was set in motion by me as well as everything I had consciously on unconsciously escaped or missed out on. I was always laying my bed as I chose whether or not I paid attention to detail or not.
This put an end to my pity party that often always felt so off and me being in the victimised, sympathize over me position.
Truthfully, there always seems to be an exception or slight alterations to rules but it is important to know that 95% is almost enough and every other thing falling with the 5% is hard, rare, a miracle or sheer luck(if you believe in luck). We are mostly responsible for what we go on to be or what happens along the way. Aside God, who has even handed to us free will and will only deliberately influence or change things for us sometime and only when we call on Him, the rest is up to us. Not withstanding what He wills, will eventually come to be but yours it’s to decide the path taking to fulfill His will, whether you end right or not, blessed as a reward or cursed as a reward, eternity or damnation that is totally up to us.
Choose to believe it or not, events in our life and especially those of heavy consequence, good or bad is birthed from our choices and decisions. Our beliefs, faith, idiosyncracies, values acquired, standards and principles built, what we choose to learn or dispose of, company we keep, how we relate, relationships created, our way of thinking, thoughts produced, lifestyles etc are all determined, modified created, mastered and all by our doing or allowing for it to be so. All of these are things that eventually lead to the path we take to fate or destiny if you will.
Considering all of these things, how external are the cause of our happenings, except free will has been stripped from all humans, who is really responsible for you?
Who is your biggest friend and for?